Friday, December 03, 2004
ESL Joke of the Day - Oxymorons
An oxymoron is a figure of speach in which opposite or contradictory ideas or terms are combined. The result can sometimes be quite funny. Here are some examples:
- Act naturally
- Happily married
- Microsoft Works
- Holy war
- Found missing
- Resident alien
- Military intelligence
- Minor catastrophe
- Affordable housing
- Near miss
- Great depression
- Canadian army
- Phone sex
- United nations
- Advanced BASIC
- Genuine imitation
- Death benefits
- Airline Food
- Women's rights
- Good grief
- Same difference
- Almost exactly
- Sensitive man
- Government organization
- Everything except
- Civil War
- Good kid
- Sanitary landfill
- Alone together
- Legally drunk
- Silent scream
- British fashion
- Living dead
- Small crowd
- Business ethics
- Soft rock
- Butt Head
- Military Intelligence
- Software documentation
- New York culture
- New classic
- Sweet sorrow
- Child proof
- "Now, then"
- Synthetic natural gas
- Christian Scientists
- Passive aggressive
- Taped live
- Clearly misunderstood
- Peace force
- Extinct Life
- Temporary tax increase
- New and improved
- Computer jock
- Plastic glasses
- Terribly pleased
- Computer security
- Political science
- Tight slacks
- Definite maybe
- Pretty ugly
- Twelve-ounce pound cake
- Diet ice cream
- Rap music
- Working vacation
- Exact estimate
- Religious tolerance
- Freezer Burn
- Honest Politician
- Jumbo Shrimp
- Loners Club
- Postal Service
Know any good jokes?
Feel free to make a contributio to blabberwocky@vec.ca
For more English language resources, see the Vancouver English Centre site.
Vancouver English Centre
http://www.vec.ca
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Drop on by and browse through a huge archive of little johnny joke
This is one of the many jokes i found amongst the many joke categorys:
A man walks into his favorite bar and saw a bum panhandeling. The bum asked if the man could spare a dollar. The man replied "If I give you money are you going to use it to buy liquor?" The bum said he would not, so the man asked "If I give you money are you going to use it for gambling?" Again the bum said he would not, so the man asked "Would you come home with me so I can show my wife what happenes to someone who doesnt gamble or drink?"
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This is one of the many jokes i found amongst the many joke categorys:
A man walks into his favorite bar and saw a bum panhandeling. The bum asked if the man could spare a dollar. The man replied "If I give you money are you going to use it to buy liquor?" The bum said he would not, so the man asked "If I give you money are you going to use it for gambling?" Again the bum said he would not, so the man asked "Would you come home with me so I can show my wife what happenes to someone who doesnt gamble or drink?"
# posted by 
: 5:56 PM
: 5:56 PM << Home
